Posted by 
Have you ever had a roll where you got absolutely mauled by your opponent and your ego got shattered? After that roll, did you want to save face but were too scared or shy to say “I wasn’t really trying.”?
Boy do I have the phrase for you!
If you’re tired of training partners beating you with seemingly indecent ease, just hit them with this one simple sentence after training: “Man, you’re really strong!”
It’s a guaranteed way to appear polite and as if you’re complimenting your training partner’s physical stature but also insult their entire BJJ game and every ounce of progress they’ve made so far. When you say “Man, you’re really strong,” what you’re really saying is, “You only beat me because you used strength. If we were the same size, I’d have won. Your technique is bad and you should feel bad.”
If you really want to drop the ol’ Nagasaki to your Hiroshima, add: “You also move really well for a big guy (or gal)!” It’s the one-two wombo combo guaranteed to end any gym war.
That’s not all though! Make sure that you avoid rolling with them ever again, so that they know they don’t deserve the privilege of training with you and your superior technical prowess. Not until they learn to not use strength at any rate. For icing on the cake, shower them with dirty looks and gossip about how bad they are without strength at every available opportunity.
Of course this is all a joke, but it does serve an important illustrative purpose. Don’t blame your partner’s skill level on their strength or any other attribute. Yes, it’s difficult to roll against someone stronger than you. However, the same is true for people that are more flexible, have a bigger gas tank, are more agile, or, you guessed it, are more technical. Strength is a tool to use in the art of grappling. The only time it becomes an issue is when strength is used as a crutch for poor technique. The same is true for flexibility, agility, etc.
If strength reinforces good technique, there’s no issue. Why else do you think all the top level athletes are using steroids? Besides, in my experience, if you’re complaining about strength it means you’re trying to outmuscle your opponent. You’re just as guilty of relying on strength as you accuse them of instead of body positioning, movement, and technique.
The harsh reality of BJJ is that someone big with good technique will always beat someone small with the same level of good technique. That’s the reason almost every sport to ever exist are all divided by weight and gender classes.
In comes your two options. Either you accept the size or strength discrepancy and use it as an opportunity to work on your shortcomings within BJJ, or you stick to your guns and blame your opponent. Keep in mind though, as long as you continue to use the excuse that your opponent is stronger as a crutch, you will continue to stunt your own development.
Written by Professor Joshua Cooksley @ greywolfbjj.com.au